Word of the week; ‘NJONG’I’
Njong’i is a French word meaning Shabby, ‘ushago-ish’, haphazard, awkward, backward, unplanned, cacophonic/mathogothanio-ish.
If you delete all consultants’ numbers on your phone and you go measure on the ground with footsteps. Wan, tu, dhirii, foh..faeh,,,Kata hapo!! Hiyo ni shoh na badhurumu! If you find yourself drafting a plan on grass with your fundi, get ready for a project that is, NJONG’I.
If you pick your contractor because they are the ‘cheapest’, then your contractor recruits makangas who are on annual leave to lay your tiles and lay your electrical cables and drain pipes. Or even recruits some idlers from the local ‘mungetho’/place where idlers waste time and frequently over-indulging in alcohol that if one of them holds a pen, their hand is shaking so much that they can write their signature INVOLUNTARILY…. Shika karamu visuri!! If you intend to save cash by using incompetent labour, get ready for a project that is… NJONG’I
If you hire trappers that look like they are made from tired oil drums and have a thousand holes from nails, they are so tired they are warping and you have to nail it to your support stilts with a thousand nails. If you decide to use improper and sub-standard form-work, leaving your ceilings to look like kneaded ugali, get ready with a plate of sukuma wiki because your project is bound to be… NJONG’I
If you know the market price of construction, but you go ahead and find ways and means to ‘beat the system’. If you indeed achieve a much lower NET construction rate, prepare yourself to live in a building that is… NJONG’I
If today, you decide to use multicolored stones with different shapes and sizes, then you key your joints with black paint and put cladded bricks under windows like a ushago primary school, and plaster your beams and paint them a bright colour, even you yourselefu know that your construction project is NJONG’I
If you decide to put small jail cell windows and fortify them with Y16 bars as burglar proofing ‘ndio waizi wasiingie’, you know very well you are not building in Alcatraz or Kodiaga or Robben Island. If your facades have to thumbnail windows, most likely your construction project is NJONG’I
If you build a massive, chunky house whose interiors are dark like crazy that if you leave two ferocious dogs inside they will start singing that wedding song ‘wawili kwa wawili eh..eyee,, oh mundu na murata weh’…. We can’t lie to you that those dogs are singing because they are leaping for joy, NO! And they are not getting married either. Those Rottweilers are scared to the bone and have susud on themselves and will need a whole lot of dog therapy after the grueling experience. So if dogs are afraid of the dark rooms in your construction project, you don’t need a rocket scientist to inform you that your house is NJONG’I
If you decide your ceiling will be made from multiple colours and shapes both in paint and lighting that it resembles a certain governor’s house that is perched on a hill. If your ceilings look like a bar in Kayole, you know your ceilings are?…………………